ah now I remember, but no time to expand

I finally remember what I was going to blog about 7 days ago....

How weird it is to see your best friend from elementary school posting pictures of her newborn daughter on FB.  For some reason it feels different from all my friends from high school and college posting pictures of their first-borns.  I don't know why or how, but it is.  And it's tripping me out.  Maybe because I'm so far behind in this race.  It's not a race, but it feels like it is and it sucks.

I'm watching Seinfeld and Jennifer Coolidge is on an episode, didn't know that, she looks so different.

I was in a meeting tonight and two high schoolers gave their leads.  Although they both fumbled through their life stories, their hope and stories were incredible.  I wish I had this program when I was in high school.  I'm pretty sure my life would be vastly different, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through all my defects for so long.  But I guess it's those stumbles that help us grow.  God had a time for me and my program and I have to realize that.  I'm just grateful I found it at 28 and not 48.  To hear these kids talk about how their parents reminded them they were "accidents" and wish they would have had abortions.  To hear a poem a 16 year old wrote about just wanting her mom to love and hug her.  It makes me stop dead in my tracks and stop bitching about my life.  I'm so fortunate.  I always knew how much my mom loved me, if anything maybe I heard it too much?  I never really understood how much my dad loved me until I was older, but I knew he did.  I'm so amazed and will have to make an effort to remember this when I feel like things suck.

Because this week and last, they felt like they sucked. 

I really will blog more about the first topic.  Later.  Right now I need to pack for my trip to Buffalo for friends, food, the falls and sailing.

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It slips me

I just had something great to post about as I was leaving work and now I can't remember. Totally should have done it from my phone, because now it slips me.


Oh well.  I'm totally frustrated with pulling the lists for my first annual report.  I had to go back and manually fix some things because of how things are set up already in the database.  Yet, I have to go back and adjust again because it was decided to change direction.  I think we've got a better way to format the lists and recognize donors, but it's frustrating to have to redo a lot of the work.  I do have some even better ideas for next year because it's all about donor stewardship.  Stewardship can take place in many different forms and many times throughout the year.

I never thought I would have all this donor experience.  Soft credit?  What's that?  Creating giving levels, huh?  I just lead the foundation through the process of naming our giving levels.  Yikes, not as easy as you would think.  Especially when you're an institution that represents the entire state and a broad range of interests and disciplines.  It was quite a process and I'm glad it's done.  

I'm excited about all the new things I'm learning and doing by trial by fire that I never expected I would.  If I want to go into association management (aka CEO) I'm really rounding out my tool box quite nicely.  I think fundraising is VITAL experience for any association management leader...especially donor relations.

We're expecting a tornado, time to go get dinner.

Sometimes it learning by trial and error sucks, but I'm grateful for a job that challenges me.

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What goes around comes around

I heard some shit that a few people are saying about some other people.  Good people who do nothing but try to help others and do what is right.  I just believe what goes around comes around.


I personally think there is a difference between talking shit and sharing your experiences.  Making fun of someone behind their back, that's talking shit.  Telling someone about what you've experienced first hand with someone else, that's sharing your experience.  

However, patiently waiting for what's coming around to come around to these people is where I suck.  Again, that patience.  I want to go to the people who are being made fun of and let them know what's going on.  But I know from my program that I need to give this away as I can't control it and have faith in a higher power that things will turn out how they are supposed to and I don't need to intervene.  Not to mention it's not my place.  
 
We all laugh at someone else's expense.  I have yet to meet a person that hasn't one time or another.  Some people do it more than others.  Some people do it as their source of entertainment.  I guess I shouldn't judge, to what extent someone does it doesn't really make them better or worse than the rest of us.  

I've been using my program a lot this week....just goes to show me I always need it.

P.S. Due to vacation and illness this week, I've decided to resume training on Saturday.

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Back street's back

I might have used that title already after another one of my long absences on my blog.  I was reading high school mate's blog about her experience with childbirth and have been laughing my ass off because she's being so real.  So I thought I need to start updating my blog.  


For some ungodly reason I agreed to do a half-marathon in March in Miami.  Yes.  You read that right.  I hate to run.  Hell I even hate to walk.  Five blocks away, let's take a cab.  Yet I can ride a bike until my ass is numb.  Everyone keeps telling me, one day you'll turn to love running.  I keep thinking when is that going to kick in?  So far it's torture that I dread every day.

I'm taking a marathon training class which has been very helpful.  Learning the proper way to stretch, weight train and other helpful hints for running your first race.  I did get my shoes and running socks and I will admit that they do make a difference.  Hum, maybe I've been drinking the kool-aid.  

I did really well the first week.  I hit my goal and was making good progress.  Yet, I was getting frustrated because I thought in some crazy world I'd be improving my time each day.  Yes, I said each day.  My impatient thoughts figured that I should be able to get better and faster each day.  So I'd be totally frustrated when each day it was pretty much the same time.  Doh.  Just an excellent example of how impatient I really am.  My impatience gets me EVERY time.  this is the third or fourth fall that I've gotten serious about working out, each time I do decent but get impatient and fall off the wagon.  The best I did was lost 27 pounds from August - Nov the year I had my bone marrow tap.  So now that I've recognized my impatience, maybe I can get past this plateau I always hit right before Thanksgiving.  I really am pretty sick of being fat. 

I've watched B go from drinking more than I can fathom in a day to going to meetings and working an honest program.  I'm so proud of him.  He's more than 100 days and is such a joy to watch grow and change.  HIs sponsor asked me how that made me feel.  I said ashamed in myself. He can stop drinking yet I can't stop eating and keep exercising in the same 100 days.  Food is my addiction.  It's really no different, it's addiction.  I just choose a different medium in which to express my addiction.

Okay so maybe this first post hasn't been so funny.  It's down right depressing and sad.  But I have to keep thinking one day at a time and I want to know what it will be to look back six months from now and know that I had the patience to stick it out.  

My second week was non-existent.  I went to Orlando and had zero motivation to work out (or little time).  So I'm back for week three.  I've realized I should probably pick up where I left off instead of trying to skip a week and keep up with the class.  So I've logged 2 miles so far and have to log another 6-8 before Wednesday.  Better get my ass off the couch and over to Lifetime.  So off I go.

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lazy

I'm so lazy lately.  I signed up for a 5K, it's in two weeks.  Have I started training?  No.  I'm so worn out from work and have been working Saturdays lately, so when free time comes around I don't want to do anything.


I bought these great spinning shoes, they really make a difference.  Have I been able to get up early during the week to go to class?  No.  As a matter of fact I was 15 minutes late to work every day last week.

What is my problem?  I guess I should do something productive and get up and balance my checkbook.  No reason for my laziness to cause me to overdraft.  hahah

I need to snap out of this funk stat.

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It's past my bedtime

I haven't been up past 10:30 since I got here.  Pathetic, but the sleep has been awesome.


I love that the most thought provoking question I've pondered today is if I should get a Mac laptop or PC.  Whether to have another butterscotch oatmeal cookie or not.  OK I shouldn't have said yes to the last question.  Time to get back to the gym and eating well.  I've really let things slide the last few months.  I look at the pictures of me on this blog and long to be that slender in the face.

The pups are asleep on the couch and taking up the entire couch at that.  My mom is doing puzzles and my dad is asleep somewhere on one of the three floors, I'm guessing he's sawing logs in the study.

We went through all my grandma's old photo albums tonight.  It's amazing how I remember some of the pictures and I remember my mom's album from when her and my dad were dating.  However, now that I'm older, I have such a deeper appreciation for the pictures.  Both my parents grew up in stories that you and I would only hear about on tv.  They lived such interesting lives with international travel.  After all, if you didn't already know, my parents met in Ghana when my mom was 13 and my dad was 15.  They've been together ever since.  

It makes me wonder what my family albums will be like.  WIll it just be me and my friends and trips I take.  Or will there be a family of my own.  Hum...here's to wondering.  Time to go to bed.  Gotta be on my "A" game as I haggle with my pops in the Apple store tomorrow am.  

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Baby its Christmas

  • Dec 24, 2008

As I sit in the airport I reflect on Christmas eve pasts. I remember going to jaybirds house to have Dinner when we lived in California. I would be excited to get to her house, it felt so big and I could always find adventure. We would have an amazing dinner since the Vasquez side are gourmet chefs. We live to eat in our family and use food to celebrate (which is probably partly why I struggle food).

We would open gifts, my aunt always got me clothes. Clothes that were more expensive than what we bought, she usually shopped at Macy's.

On the way home we would listen to the radio and they would break the holiday music to track Santa. I knew he was close and after mid night mass I would go to sleep and wake up to the fun of Christmas morning.

Most of my life we grew up far away from relatives so it was usually just the four of us. But it was nice living in California for five years because we were close to my aunts.
Now that I'm older we spend more holidays with relatives which is nice so we can make up for lost time.

This Christmas will just be me and my parents, and the girls of course. This Christmas marks five years of not talking to my brother. It still hurts and it is sad for me to see grandparents with their grandchildren since I know mine don't have that, but time makes it easier.

I'm looking forward to spending some quiet time at where I consider hoMe (where ever my parents live) and being with people I love.

Merry Christmas!
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5am

  • Dec 24, 2008

Its 5am on Christmas Eve. I wish I was already home in Richmond fast asleep. Instead I'm about to get out of bed to clean for the cat sitter. Thankfully the ice last night is melting because of all the rain we are getting.
I have to work a few hours today because I can't technically take vacation :(
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Test take 2

  • Dec 23, 2008


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Test

  • Oct 9, 2008


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Asusugah

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Asusugah
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Trying to get through school, find a purpose and have some laughs along the way

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