Inside Sugah's head

So I went to the hematologist yesterday.  My WBC is up even more from last time :(  He said it's either the smoking (yes, I started back up again!) or I have something (I couldn't understand what he said he thought I have).

My options:

-Quit smoking or have a bone marrow tap again.

I'll pick quit smoking.  So I have to go back in six months and I had better be smoke free for at least 5 months.  That will determine if I have to have a tap and if I have what he said I might have.

Bummer.

I have a ton to blog, going to try to blog a little each day.  We'll see how that goes

Well in all of my gracefulness, I totally bit it.  In the middle of the Halka Library, I tripped on some screws coming loose out of the floor.  I now have rug burns on my knees (and I'm bleeding a little).  Luckily there were not any witnesses.  People only saw the ream of paper in my arms go flying across the room.  F-ck, I have to reorganize 500 pages.  boooo

So if you're not logged into Vox to read my blog you might notice that there's a lot of posts missing on my page.  Or maybe not and I think more people read this than really do.

Either or, I've decided to make most of my posts private.  With the world today and how everyone can access your life, I didn't want randoms to be able to.  So if you want to continue reading my inner most thoughts, that are usually pretty blunt and sometimes humorous, sign up for a vox account and add me to your neighborhood (you don't have to publish anything, just login to read). If you don't care, then you can read the ones I think are okay for public viewing.  Or you can go to blogger.com and read random blogs.  whatever floats your boat love.

Catch ya on the flip side.

Sugah

We're only three days into the new year.  Yet, this one feels completely different.  Maybe I feel this way because real changes are coming up super fast.  I promised myself I'd start looking for a new job after the new year.  Well, it's here.  Ding, Ding, Ding.  No more excuses.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so ready to move onto the next big thing in my life.  Yet, as it looms closer, I get the need to cling to what I've got right now. 

There's been several things unfolding over the last month that make me feel like I'm in an altered universe.  Everything around me is the same.  Yet it feels so different, so foreign.

Okay, so it's not always playing match maker, but it usually passing info to friends who find my friends cute.  It's backfired twice.  I take it as a sign that I should stop.

In college, two of my friends hooked up.  He ended up thinking she was crazy and she thought he was an asshole.  For a while they couldn't even be at the same place at the same time when we would go out.  Now their both equally happy in their relationships, but it was pretty uncomfortable for a while.

Post college a guy I knew thought my best friend was cute.  So I passed along her info.  They started chatting up a storm and got along great.  It was long distance so when she went to go see him it was anything but.  They stayed friends, but she had no desire to even kiss him.  So she thinks she could give him a second chance.  Then he gets weird and cuts off the friendship. Now he's back and he has all these crazy expectations.  He's gone completely sex crazy on her making assumptions about her visit at Christmas (to see her family,not him).

I'm done passing along info.  I'll pass along a networking opportunity through linkedin but that's about it.  I don't want to be held responsible for crazieswhoIthoughtwerenormal.

Just like today, 6 years ago started off like any other day.  Or did it?

I was fast asleep, oversleeping as usual before my 9:15 Market Research class with Jarvis.  The phone rang, I picked it up and Nicole's voice was on the other line.  It was strange, she never called in the morning, I usually talked to her later in the day.  "Have you seen the TV?" "no" I gargled.  "Turn on CNN, a plane just flew into the Twin Towers." I flipped the channel from whatever I had fallen asleep to the previous night to CNN.  There I saw the smoke, I immediately sat at the end of my bed and watched in terror.  We hung up and I realized classes were still in session.  I threw some clothes on and went to my class.  The entire 75 minutes I couldn't concentrate.  I didn't have any thoughts, I just looked straight at the red blinking light on the classroom server. 

After I got out of class I ran into Frank. I told him I shouldn't keep my kids in class at 12:40, so I went to the door of my classroom and left a note that I was canceling class.  That if anyone needed to talk, they could call my cell phone.  Frank and I went from there to the ASU art museum.  We had never been.  I remember we were holding hands as we strolled through the museum in silence.  We took in all the beauty and couldn't fathom what was going on in the world outside of this quiet place.

We left there and went to my house.  Neither of us wanted to be alone.  We sat on the couch cuddling all day glued to the news.  There was a knock on the door, it was Jessica.  She was crying and didn't want to go home alone.  We all sat through the evening and watched the story unfold.  To be honest, the rest is a blur.  But I'll never forget the morning and afternoon of that day.

Who knew that the question "where were you on 9/11" would be a conversation started among good friends.  Who knew it would rock this world forever.  You can't predict the future, just love the ones you've got and be thankful.

I heard on Robin and Co this am that Apple is dropping the price of the iPhone.  People every where are pissed.  Well duh, they always drop the price of technology after it comes out.  That's why I wait.  I can't really think of anything I had to have when it first came out (with the exception of Nip|Tuck 4).  Prices drop, that's what they do.

I never thought I'd say that, or even admit it.  I was doing the new student orientation panel last night.  As I looked out into the sea of 100 people I thought about how much I miss going to class.  Seeing my class mates, interacting in an exciting environment.

I don't miss homework, tests, projects, feeling stressed out or feeling guilty for sitting on the couch and not studying on a lazy Saturday fall day.

I'm so glad I don't have to start classes tonight like Daniel (sorry D).

I'm glad I'm done, but I do miss some aspects of being a student.

I have so much to blog about and not enough time to sit down and do it!  Damnit.

Here's what's coming:

-How Naranon has changed my life.  It's cleared out the chaos and reduced the sanity in my life.

-My love with my new car, is it possible to love an automobile?  Oh I think YES!

-How I'm not sure how I ever squeezed in my MBA

-Other pointless ramblings.

God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

When faced with a very tough situation, these words do come in handy.  No matter who your god is, it is helpful.  I now know that when I am faced with an emergency I CAN keep my head together and do what needs to be done.  I know it's okay to break down later.  For that strength I am proud and grateful.